Something about mothers

" I'm grateful to have you has my child, Naz. But you like to shop - buy new clothes, shoes, handbags non-stop." 

- Mama. 

Dear You, Yes You.

" Do you want to know a secret of mine? Before i go to bed i will always read your blog. And by every each post that posted that i know you're lonely, the little things you do - i know i'm the right guy for you. To take care of you, to love you like nobody will ever love you, and i know that i will always be by your side every single day." - S.

People say a lot of things about me of changing guys when i get the chance to do so. But do you want to know something? Sometimes, you can't predict of things that happen in life which includes love. Love is a passion of a someone towards an object and subject. And has to love, it comes naturally and unpredictable. Might so i've been in and out of love sometimes - which even my mama knows about this, she will only say "It's only puppy love", but as days pass and sometimes you do know which is guy right for you. 

I've been in a relationship with different types of guys. I've tasted the bitterness of having a boyfriend who will be there for you when he needs you but when you need him he doesn't even bother, the guy who used you just to get  someone jealous, the guy of so called puppy love and he was cute and so, the guy who will make you happy but instead you used him cause you were lonely and the guy who will actually easy fall for other people and dumped you the next day. Yes, i've been in this kind of these relationship. Might so, mama knows about this. 3 out of 5 guy , which mama knows about them. And the only thing she will say to me is, " Naz, in anything you do. Please do remember mama and papa - before you act to do something." 

27th June 2011 at 1.47 pm. 
That is our date.


It took me quite a while in having another relationship - but as time past and his effort to take me as his girl. I knew that he could make me happy and all. " I stalked you to get to know you", " The first time i laid my eyes on you - i wanted to know you more each and everyday". Those were the words that are still captured in my mind everytime and whenever i'm with him. One month with him and my mum and dad knows about him - he will try his best to make me smile when the clouds are grey. 


So who is he? (his name is directly up there -.-")
Whose the lucky guy?
Is he one of a kind?


Well, what i can you tell is that he is gentleman who knows how to cheer me up when i'm down. Do little surprises for me which makes me shrieks inside and smile the whole day. Make me laugh everyday on the phone, meeting him, having a sneak-out date and on Skype. And gives me butterflies every morning. And technically, he is the guy - who would do anything for you just to make you happy.


Dear you, yes you. You know that is post is directly for you and to you with a sealed heart and kisses from me to you.

Early in the morning, i think of you.

So hey , i know it's been awhile ever since i update my blogger. Let say it has been months or say weeks to be precise. Yes, just got back in college. It has been 2 weeks now - it's my 2nd semester in Diploma in Architecture. This morning, my first assignment in Basic Design 1 has been presented with the help Aleen. May people say that true love only come once - but for me i guess it came trice. My friends may say that i might be a player or any shitty thing just like that - but might so what happen in the past stay in the past and sometimes it might be each other problems and such things. And might so i can tell you i fall in love quite a lot - but i guess this one is the true one. Yes i know i've been telling you guys each and ever guy i dated - he's the one. But right now, i know he is the one. Even each every day he tells me his  flaws and all, but i accept him the way he is. So no worries, my dear boyfriend - I love you in every kind of way.

Your Loco Head.

Hi and Hello. Yes i know it's been awhile i didn't update my blog - and you guys have must been thinking where i have been and everything. Well things were a mayhem - and i just couldn't find the time to update it. And yes , a lot of things had changed actually. About me and life.  Where should i start ? 


Well i'm single (?) Now that's surprising shall i say ? And yes it is true. I'm having my semester break right now - and left one more week for me to enjoy it before heading back to college on the 26th. About my license - i'm still a L . And don't ask me why. Mama's in Kuala Lumpur she has a course there right now and this week would be the last. I'm doing the chores at home - and it's freaking exhausted. I went to Bandung with papa and yes it was shopping heaven (Y). And the fun part was " Take whatever you like , Naz. " , said papa. Is that fun or what ? 

And i do think i'm changing and i think i'm the type of girl who doesn't open up easily nowadays. Now where happen to the girl i use to know ? 


xoxo.

" 101 things i learned in Architecture School "

#101 - Architects are late bloomers. 

Most architects do not their professional stride until around age 50 !
    There is perhaps no other profession that requires one to integrate such a broad range of knowledge into something so specific and concrete. An architect must be knowledgeable in history, art , sociology , physics , psychology , materiality , symbology, political process , and innumerable other fields, and must create a building that meets regulatory codes, keep out the weather , withstand earthquakes, has functioning elevators and mechanical systems , and meets the complex functional and emotional needs of its users. Learning to integreate so many concerns into a cohesive product takes a long time, with lots of trial and error along the way.

If you're going to be in field of architecture, be in it for the long haul. It's worth it.

Rewind and Play

It's 9.01 pm , Malaysia time and i think i have to make a confession here. 
First is i miss home.
Second is i want to pursue my studies in music. 

Third is about my status relationship. So all of you know that  i have a new guy in my life. So people have been talking about it , for the first week that we've been dating and everything. And now it's been a month already and it's counting days and night and each day of it , we - me and him we cherish it every moment of it. With him  i'm special. With him i can forget the past that i had . The memories that me and my ex captured , i forgot every bit of it. Wanting to start a new book in my relationship , and it did. Thanks for the help of him. 


So here goes. The first man , that mama and papa seem to be cool with it. The first man , that can make me smile every single day with his cute , lovey dovey messages.  The first man , that i know that he will always be there. The first man , that i know he will listen to all my problems and just laugh at me after listening to it - which is kinda weird but cute. The first man, that flirted with me by asking me to hear a song - which my friend did interpretation part by saying " Saff , he likes you lah " ., and by then i was giddy inside. The first man , that always make me laugh even it's been a month but i know that he will make me laugh forever. And the first man , that i know that he wants a true relationship - which i want in a guy after all this time and it's not me whose doing the job but me AND him , together.  Shall we stay for infinity together , my man ? Well i think we should as we need each other in our lives. Fendy.

Sincerely , your truly only girl ,
Your Girlfriend ♥
 

For the broken hearts out there

Hi and it's 10.28 am , Malaysia time. I think this makes it my fifth post posting it early in the morning. I won't point fingers on this post but all i know is every break up there's a reason. And i talk with my own experience being in love and in the end of the road we made our own pathway in the end. So it's a normal thing , when it comes to relationships. That one day - we fall in love and later die of love. Then there's the part where the girl tries to fix everything but the guy does care less about the relationship. Later, there's the part where the girl cries in the dark while the guy goes out with his buddies and have fun. 

Later than that , the girl doesn't care less but then the guy comes and care about it. Frustrated don't you think ? First it was the girl , but the guy doesn't even give a damn. Later the girl don't give a damn , but the guy comes crawling back. Sometimes guys do acts like jerk which is such a bummer. Every relationship that i had, it gave me a lesson to be learn. Don't easy fall for guys. Not every guy is the same. Every guy has their own ways. Without parents acceptation , the relationship won't work - i still believe in these things. A guy will make the best to keep you smile , and make you sad in the end. And every break up there is a reason. Might so , you will find a better man than  him. Well i did :') 

As i talk based on my past relationship - i was in love with a guy. A guy who i thought who can make me happy. But in the end , he broke my heart into pieces with his attitude. He was a jerk. When i wanted things to be over , the he comes crawling back. Then he does the same thing over and all over again. There ? Told you he was jerk. He acts like a jerk , when he's with his friends. He could act like a jerk when i have a problem. That was the most hardest part i had with him. Who is he ? Shall i say , it's a secret to be kept. 

Whenever i'm in love , it's the part where i let the guy does all the stuff. The flirting and everything. We may be friends for a few weeks and later we could be in a relationship. People say , i change guys to easily. Then there's the part where we come in and say " It's only the matter of time and fate. We might be made for each other. So why don't you grab the chance and be with him ? ". 

Sometimes , people may judge you differently. 

x.

When sometimes it's complicated

Hi , it's 9.58 pm - Malaysia time and mummy is getting mad at me because of going out to often while i'm in college. The matter is i'm not okay about it is because i told her about it at the first place and she took it easy , and the next thing you know it - she's mad like a bull. I might be very rude but it's the truth. Now mummy wants me to be back in Ipoh. Only God knows how pissed i am. It's not that i didn't tell her but i do tell her every single thing i do. Who i'm going out with and everything. 


I just got back from a fun with time with my college mates. We went all the way to Sunway - which i told mummy earlier at the first place - and later she got pissed ! And i'm being emo with the boyfriend :B


xx

When it's about time.

hi and it's 11.20 pm , Malaysia time. It's been awhile i didn't update my blog. The reason why is cause i was busy with college life. When you have everyday occupied except for Thursday , Saturday and Sunday. Even if I have 2 subjects literally , by night i'm free but i still did not even touch my blog. And the simple reason is and was - Lazy. Lazy. Lazy. I was just playing to LAZY.

I think it's about time i tell you the person who stole my heart which we use to be strangers during our high school days. During my high school days , we were strangers and i didn't knew him at all but i knew i had a crush on him. And as days past , i knew it will be possible for me to have him. So from that moment, i just put the hopes behind the walls that occupied all of my crushes that i know that i couldn't get. And has fate bought us together this year. We became closer even through via cyber. I was technically in Ipoh while he was in Shah Alam. But that didn't matter at all. It's been weeks now , we've been seeing each other and getting to know each other better. And i know that everyday , everynight , every single moment minute or time when i'm with him - he makes me head over heels. I'll be all giddy inside and i know that he will make me smile even times are rough. XX. Whatever lies between us , let me and him only know. 

x.

 

Eventually, you grow up.

It's 7.30 pm , Malaysia time and it's been awhile since i ever updated my blog. Anything new in life ? Well LOADS. Currently , i'm in college - Kuala Lumpur Infrastructure University College (KLiUC) taking up Diploma in Architecture. Classes begins tomorrow at 2pm and well for the first sem. i only have 2 subjects which is technical drawing I and graphic communication. And i'm thinking i'm having home sickness and i miss my mum so much. My auntie had died in Mekah , i just got the news this morning from mama - Al Fatihah. I've made new friends here and they're extremely friendly and yet i miss my friends back Ipoh and my bed ! 

x.

You could never predict.

So it's been 2 weeks now  , like whatever. It's 1.28 pm , Malaysia time and i'm over with Najib. You guys MUST be surprised , don't you ? Well i have my own reason why i broke off with him on the first place. Sometimes i just couldn't predict what's going on with me sometimes - JUST CAN'T. Sometimes i turn out to be a big bitch next i'm the big angel. But i'm FINE , alright ? so whose the next boy of mine ? Well see it in my Facebook account ;) And plus we've couple recently 2 days , including today.

And don't you think , it's annoying that you have a person - monitoring you for 24/7 hours ,

The Emotional Side of Me.

Once you had dream , a dream to be anything that you want. Either a rockstar or a princess - you have a dream. And now the dream of your dream is about to happen. I'm 18 this year , getting my driving license done and soon i'll be driving my car. Going to of college. College. The first word that pops in my mind when a person says  " College " is homesick. That's right. 


On Monday , i was getting ready and all of a sudden my mum took my comb and she brushed my hair. I felt like a 5 year old again. I miss the moments when i was a toddler. Everything seem sweet. No problems were around me. The only thing i knew was waking up in the morning , going out with my mum and the next thing I knew it i will get a teddy bear from her and a kiss from my dad.  


But now , i'm a teenager . I rarely tell my secrets to my parents. As my mum think that when i tell her my secrets , she will act cool in her way but for me it's not cool. Though , i really appreciate her to act cool with it. But i know i have my limits. Cause people said to her , " to be close to your child whose growing up , you should make her your friend. Your best friend " , though it's true . But sometimes , it's just annoying. My dad is cool , when i talk with him , he just keep quiet and listen and the next thing i know it - he will make fun of me. Yeah , that's my parents. I'm the only child , so whatever happens - it's between me and just my parents no one else .


I'm going of to college soon. And i'm having this thoughts of what's going to happen at home and everything. And i'm thinking the first thing that will approach me is " HOMESICKNESS".


x.

Cranky double it.

It's 8.58 pm , Malaysia time and my clock is running fast - i have approximately about 2 weeks before i leave for college and pursuing my studies in Architecture. That's right folks i'm leaving soon. OMGosh , it felt like yesterday i still had mama to send me to school and salam my dad in the morning before i leave school. There you go - time runs fast these days. And that's what the scientist also says. 

And about my SPM results , it was quite delighting to see. And except the fact that i got A and A- for my English studies - typical normal for me. While a BM i got a B :( How devastated i felt on that day , and ever wondered how i went on that day  ? Well let me say, I didn't cry that day but i nearly did. But my mind was set , that i'm going to feel calm and good about the results - and it was accomplish :)

And about today , i went to KLiUC open day and yes , my parents are confirming about sending me there and i felt a little bit sad 'cause this is my first time i'm going to leave home for real. Oh well. Papa just bought me a MacBook Pro :) and YES I FEEL HAPPY  :') *it's a preparation before entering college - FYI.

x.

When everything seem to be out of place

It's 9.47 pm , Malaysia time and for a 17 year ++ old girl , i should be worrying about one thing which is my SPM results. Even you see me happy and having fun at times but i hide the worrying behind my face. People say i have slimmed down and my mother responds " She's worried about her results " . And this is true to tell you , to be exact. Today is 20th March , on Wednesday is 23rd March. On that day , it's either i have a happy face or a sad face or just a plain face. And the exact words that i will hear from my parents are - it's either they will get upset or be proud. Which it's bring me stress when i think about it even it takes a sec. 


So i've made up my mind today. I'm gonna take it easy. I'm not going to stress myself cause what have been done is done. You can't take it back unless you have a time machine which that can take me back in November/December of 2010. Just hope that everything is going to be fine. And i pray that what i've done on my paper last year made an effort. It took me ages to understand chemistry. It took me months to understand waves in physics and electroincs. It took me days to understand the meaning of the act of catalyst in an experiment. And it took me FOREVER to understand the concept of add maths. Wish me all the best.


x.

He knows to make me happy.

 " I will give all my love to you , if that's what you want. I will give you all my love to make you happy and smile as the sun shines in the morning while the moon shines at night. I love you till the last breathe of mine. "

 

And if  i can i will blog about you , ALWAYS. Cause i'm a girl , and that's what i do best. And Yes , i'm in love.

Could everyday be the sweetest day EVER ?

It's 10.53 a.m , Malaysia time and my boyfriend commented on pink fingernails , and he said  " why you colored your nails pink ? " . Yesterday , I went out with my babes - Praseetha and Lidya and the boyfriend , Najib. We watched Big Momma like Father like son. And OMG , the movie was killer hilarious and YES EVERYBODY in the cinema couldn't stop laughing. So like Lidya said , " this was the first time after awhile of watching a movie , it's a comedy now and it was a worthwhile " . Even our seats were so in front - in front the screen -.-" TWO THUMBS UP FOR BIG MOMMA 3 :D OW OW OW OW.

Heads up.

 

It's 9.46 pm , Malaysia time and I'm sorry of what happen and i'll pray the best for Japan. Tsunami hit Japan and an earthquake at a scale of 9.8 in over 140 years. If people can give up on others , why not the world? Natural disasters.

 It's been 2 days i didn't update my blogger. Interesting things had happen. On Wednesday , i  went to KL and had a quick trip to Shah Alam with my mum. I got to meet up with my old best buddies , Najlaa , Nick and Atiq :D OMG , we were making a lot of noise at Uncle K's place - we had lighten the place up with our laughs. And a funny thing had happen. It was a day trip. 

On Thursday , i went out with Lidya and Najib. Watched " I am Number Four"  and Alex Pettyfer can you please be even more hot , and be mine and only ? :3 HAHA.

p.s:// Daddy is coming home soon. This Sunday :')

 

Strut it.

It's 3.46 pm , Malaysia time and it's raining outside AND i think my boyfriend is sleeping. Anyway , yesterday i went out with mummy - we went shopping . I got myself a novel so that i won't get bored and stuff. Later , we went to Yamaha - music store to check out keyboards. I wanted a keyboard , and plus daddy had promise to buy it for me. So that i can bring it to college to practice my piano and keep me un-bored while i'm at college. And i fell in love with this black keyboard , and mummy ask " do you want this one ? " , and i just nodded. And the next thing you know it , she asked the person to take it down and put in a bag ! So yeah , i got a keyboard yesterday. While mummy  was paying it , it came to realize that - mummy would do anything for her daughter. On Friday , i had piano class , she entered my class cause she was feeling hot waiting in the corridor , and while my piano teacher asked about my exam and stuffs to my mum - when she started talking about college she wanted me to wait until September and felt like crying cause her only daughter and child is growing up too fast and she had wished that she could stopped time. But back to rewind , time will never stop as it goes around every 24 hours in a 365 day.
x.

I'm one of them - actually

It's 8.45 pm , Malaysia and i'm like forget you and i wish you the best. Today i had music class - me and mummy. Right after the music class , mummy drive thru McD and in the car she told me that her teacher praised her cause she can already play the piano , only for 2 weeks she can play. I told her it runs in the blood. Mummy only replied , " all of your uncle naz they are all good in music. They can play anything. Just name it. Piano ? Drums ? Guitar ? They have the talent and don't be surprised they don't even need a teacher " , then after 3 minutes of thinking she continued , " your late grandfather , he's good in music and he use to perform. He can sing , play the guitar , drums and also the piano " . So yes , all of these talents are brought down to his grandchildren. And i'm lucky to have these  talents actually. Even at first my dad thinks that music can't take me anywhere , but i believe that if you have passion and interest you will go far. I told mummy about the secret that i post videos on Facebook where i sing and told her that some of friends ask for songs request , and the only thing she replied , " so is there any music producer is calling you ? " . HAHA. Funnayh mummy. 


I miss you daddy again.


X.

Mama told me that we're all born as superstars

 " What would you tell me , if tomorrow will be my last day on earth ? - Me.

-" I'll tell you that i love you with my heart and soul till infinity and forever, there will be no one else in my heart except for you and my love for you will never ever fade and it's the only you that i want to own forever." - Najib.

It's 10.46 pm , Malaysia time and i'm thinking of doing a portfolio on my photos so that i have all of my good memories behind my palm of my hand. I'm going to college soon and biting my nails about the SPM results - duration of time and day is limited for me nowadays. And i vowed i ain't go out till i get my results - which means i'm having a big fat dilemma. 

I miss daddy. 

X.

SO true is it ?

It's 9.57 pm , Malaysia time and Najib is such a day-dreamer boyfriend. Today mummy had a meeting , when she got home , she  had news for me.

Mummy : Naz .
Me               : yeah ma , why ?
Mummy : You wanna know something?
Me               : Yeah ma, what is it ?
Mummy : My friend told me that your face looks like Yuna , the singer. 
Me               : HAHA. *are you serious mummy ? *

So yeah , mummy's friend thinks that i look alike with Yuna -.- Interestingg rightt ?

Behind those lines I say

It's 11.04 pm , Malaysia timing and yes i just got out of the toilet when this idea struck. 

So when a person asks you , " do you have a blog ? ". And the only answer that you can give , " yes , i do have one. " And when a person asks you what's the main theme of your blog then you go all " errkk  - ehhmmm - well - *just keep quiet and smile* " . So yes i'm one of those person when a person asks me - what's the main theme of your blog. 

I think it's funny when you have blog where you share your own daily life stories with different kind of people and hearts.  So where did this idea of having a blog struck into my mind. Well it all happen when i was in form 1 - more precises 13 years old. I was 13 when i had my first blog. Cause by that age , i thought of my life of uncontrollable and it seemed wild to me. But for some people , it didn't. I changed to a girl - practically and mind and emotions. I started to dress like a girl and loved the color pink. So here you go , puberty hit me !

What do i mostly share on my blog. As far as you readers can see i mostly blog about myself . ONLY ABOUT ME. I talk about the world , the love life , the sadness , the happiness , the i-hate-you situation and much much more. So mostly, generally all about me. If your thinking , about not-to-read my blog anymore - think twice cause everything in my life as the do and don't. And everyday i learn something. As for example , like today i learned that no human will ever admit their mistakes and will ever keep on blaming others. See told you ?


As for this year - 2011. I'm 18 years old. And it's been 5 years having my blogger and everything is kept into my blogger. Where I share about myself to others. The way i write - shows the mood i'm having in a day.  So here i am , to say a big a thank you for the readers who read my blog , and will never get tired on anything that i write. Love you guys.


X.

" Hey DJ , give me a beat "

Hey , it's 10.56 pm , Malaysia time.  Tomorrow is sports day for my high school and i feel envy for my juniors getting ready. Daddy is going tomorrow for the event and not me 'cause i'm stuck having an autoCAD class at 8.00 am until lunch time. Screw you.  Today i had piano class and i think my teacher asked me to sing in the next class - and i'm still deciding a song to sing and play. Any ideas ? Mummy is starting to play the piano. So yeah , it runs in the blood. Except for daddy. 

x.

We could have it all - Rolling in the Deep

" If you captured your life in snapshots, what would it look like ? " 
- Well for me it would look like a girl who has a big laugh and knows how to have fun with her girls and boyfriend. Another thing is my world revolves around my parents and my cats and my friends and also my boyfriend. Besides that, tears will be leaked everytime somethings just go wrong and things doesn't go my ways - so yeah , i'm a brat. THANK YOU. 


It's 10.02 pm , Malaysia time and it's been 2 days i didn't open my novel - Dibius Cinta. Anyway yesterday. As we are 18 , we were legal to watch 18 above movies. So yeah , yesterday was the first movie that me and my girlfriends and Najib watched a 18 above movie and it was Sanctum 3D. The 3D effects was so cool and yes everyone of us had goose bumps cause everything seems so real.


x.

Someone like you and it's you

It's 8.30 pm , Malaysia time and my nails a red-pinkish in color - i think it's too adorable cute. It's been awhile i've been updating my blogger. I've been lazy updating my blogger and everything in my social network. As times past , i came to my senses that i actually have a life . Interesting.  I don't have my driving license till today and don't ask me why. The reason is simple - i don't want my parents get mad at me even though i've already have a car.  And yes , everyday as day past by - my feelings will grow and love you even more. 

x

Lover of the love

It's 8.32 pm , 14th February - Malaysia time. 

" You look cute and adorable when you smile. And i love it. " - Najib Hassan 

It's kinda funny to know that when you wake up every morning there's always a person who will wish a good morning.
It's kinda fun to know every day is a day to share with the person you love most.
It's kinda hilarious to know when your in a fight and after 10 minutes you know you will make up and say sorry.
It's kinda funny when no one wants to put down the phone and the boyfriend will get mad at you. 

I like the way you smile to me when i'm down.
I like the way when we both laugh at our stupid and lamest joke ever.
I like the way you sweet talk me when i'm sulking with you.
I like the way you always know that i will do my best in everything i do especially playing the piano.
I like the way you talk about your hobbies and have the language that you and your friends would understand.
I like the way you make smile and make me happy even at time i just feel like killing you.
I like the way you hold me in your arms and protect me from these sadness of the world.
I like the way you kiss my forehead and smile to me every kisses you give.
I like the way you sing to me on the phone especially the song  " Enjit Enjit Semut" .
I like the way you treat me as if i'm the only princess on earth.
I like the way you yawn on the other side of the phone - it's cute.
I like the way you when  get mad at me just because i didn't take my medication when i'm sick.
I like the way when you get angry cause i can't stop from hitting you with a teddy bear.
I like the way when you have a  fierce face.
And yes to admit - i like you and i love you till the bottom of my heart , Najib.


It's 14th February. It's a two in one date actually. It's Valentine's Day and also our anniversary.  It's Monday and yes i think i'm having my flu back. HELP !?

I will hold you even for a million years

 It's 9.48 pm , Malaysia time and I just did a cover by Adele ( Make you Feel my love ) . Feel free to watch it at Facebook but i think the video is private - so too bad. Anyway , yesterday i went out with Najib and my girlfriends - Diana , Lidya and Praseetha. We watched a movie yesterday - Yogi Bear. And yes to admit , i laughed the whole way of the movie which directly it looked me like 5 year old watching cartoon. How humiliating infront of the boyfriend , Najib. But to tell you , Yogi Bear movie - i will give it a 10 star rating and i want to watch it again and again and again until i fall asleep infront of the screen. HAHA. Told you it's addictive. And BTW , it was a Yogi Bear promise :3

And guess what ?! Najib gave me this cute bear yesterday. 

Yes , i love you truly Najib :)