Loving the letter "S".

Hi. It's 1.15 am on a Wednesday morning. Supposedly to be sleeping but i can't. My eyes won't shut nor will my brain. I'm currently thinking. Thinking what i've done in my past and present. I've done so many wrong things. But i'm just a human being living in this chaotic world with people around us who will some care about you or does not even care about you - but liking the idea of having your presence around.


And writing my blog again. Because i've gained something that i have lost past these months. Which is the word L. 


I do like having the idea of having someone to company where ever i go and things. But somehow - it was hard for me to find it till the day i sat with you and had our Mc Donalds meal - told me that i was beautiful and just saw me beautiful the way i am. 


Having a guy like you it is very predictable. One hour we'll be fighting over crazy things. The next hour we'll laugh and joke around like nothing had actually had happen. That's right, you - you know who you are. I'm writing this post entry about you. I might be cocky and such. But hey - whatever. 


The fact; Before meeting you or even knowing you, i had no idea what does it feel like being in a deep relationship like this. Having each and every moment together. Does not care even it takes a 25o kilometers away from us - but all we know that we are around with each other. I might be crazy or telling you this but i easily fall in and out of love. But somehow it managed me to be the person i am today, when i'm in a relationship.


The reality; I just love the way you are. I could be start singing, but somehow this entry will go off limits. But - "When i think about stars, they shine. So do you, and also the love you've given me in these past 10 months". I am and feel very lucky to have you as mine - as deeply i can say. Fight - make up - fight - make up - fight - make up - fight - make up .. and it will never even stop. The strong bond we have in each other make us collide in each other arms even a big fight we have. 


You know how to make me feel better.
You don't have to try hard. Doing crazy things with you is actually something i've always been dreaming off having it with you. You should know from that start. 


Dates; Crazy dates. Going to the zoo with you. To the park we go. Eating sushi for the first time. Sleepover at my crib while ma and pa is around. Meeting up with the whole family. Having tea and lunch dates with ma and pa. Going to the Aquaria with you. These dates - i will always remember till the day i will catch my last breathe. But still there are some dates to go such in: doing manicure with you, going to the art gallery with you, to the bird park with you, butterfly park, or just a plain picnic at the park. 


And what i adore the most about you is; You fulfilling my dreams. 


I thought only my parents could fulfill my dreams in order that they had love me. But being appreciated by you, treated like a little princess - it's like i have another fairy just to fulfill my wish. 


Every step i take, every breathe i take - it's unpredictable just like you.


And that is what i love you the most, S. 
Or shall i say; Safwan Saiful?